Skip to content

The SEC’s little porn problem

May 5, 2010

Over the past week or so we’ve been treated to the sight of the entire heaving, sweating politico-media establishment pleasuring itself in a frenzy of self-gratification over the schadenfreude-derful revelation that bigwigs at the SEC enforcement division spent the run-up to the financial crisis surfing porn rather than chasing miscreants. In their breathless haste to work themselves into a delicious lather, a veritable fugue with things erotic, it seems they’ve…uh…blown…right past any reflection on the premise and gone, hard and fast (sorry — I just can’t help myself!) to their (anti) climactic conclusion — namely, that the porn-surfers are scorn-worthy, and solely responsible for their little choice of diversions.

It seems to me, however, that perhaps we shouldn’t be so…um…hard on the poor fellows. Here they were, hired to be the sheriffs of Wall Street, presumably selected for their testosterone-driven “stick-it-to-the-bad-guys” instincts. And yet the political appointees during the era, as big a pair of lick-spittles and toadies as has ever been sent in on a mission of undermining and emasculation, gave them little to do but sit there and…well…pull their puds (That’s right, I said it!).

So ask yourselves – is it so surprising that a bunch of red-meat eating go-getters, institutionally, c*ck-blocked by their own alleged leadership, would seek other means of releasing their pent-up frustration? Strikes me that it would have been more surprising had they not done so. And perhaps, in the same way that denying adolescent boys the pressure valve of sports can foster unhealthy and anti-social activities, more dangerous. I think we’d all rather have a few sticky keyboards at a government agency than a gang of frustrated cops running around like jack-booted thugs, looking for someone, anyone, to screw to the wall (double-entendre fully intended. Thank you. Thankyouverymuch!).

So, to paraphrase the immortal Mr. Wiggles*, let’s all take a moment to be grateful for porn. After all, it could have been soooo much worse….


* WARNING: SITE CONTAINS DANGEROUSLY IRREVERENT AND OCCASIONALLY OBSCENE CONTENT. IT’S ALSO THE FUNNIEST DAMNED THING I’VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: